Because being thankful means giving praise for blessings, both big and small, to a wonderful Creator, Son and Holy Spirit. I am thankful.
I am thankful for my husband-no one else on earth "gets" me like he does. He keep me sane, he lends me his hope when I have none. There is joy and comfort in knowing that he treasures me just as much as I him.
I am thankful for good health and good finances.
I am thankful for having a career that blesses me on a daily basis. Teaching young children is something that comes naturally to me, and I am grateful to say that I love my job. Most of the time.
I am thankful for a church family that is accepting of me and mine. There's no strings attached to that acceptance; any and all service given to our church can come directly from my desire to serve God.
I am thankful for my extended family. My parents gave me the gift of unconditional love. I only hope I can return their investment in my own children. My in-laws raised an amazing son-he is everything a wife and mother could possibly hope for for her own little family, and I am grateful every day for their hard work and devotion.
I am thankful for the chance to grow up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who loved me and each other. I miss that as we have buried some, moved some away and just drifted apart when work and our own families intervened.
I am thankful for a sibling that shares a common beginning in life. I am blessed to know him; he has one of the kindest souls to ever walk this earth.
I am thankful for friends. People who genuinely care what happens to me for no other reason than they love me, warts and all. I am thankful to return that favor also.
I am thankful for my children. Words fail to express how deep into my soul that bond goes for me. Helping them learn has opened so many windows of illumination for me. I can never repay the gift that has been given to me by my children.
I am thankful for the gifts of the seasons. A warm wind running through the tree blossoms in spring, A hot, dry sun baking me to the bones as I listen to the sound of locusts outside, The first cool stirrings of autumn as the leaves change, and Quiet snowflakes in winter.
I am thankful to be of service to others. No other hell could haunt me as much as being useless.
Most of all, I am thankful to have my faith. Jesus has stood by me in many circumstances, both good and bad. He has held my hand even when I was too distraught to notice. He has picked up the pieces when my faith crumbled, held them close and protected them for me until I thought to ask for them again. His love for us is what allows me to be grateful for all else. Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
It went really well.....
Thursday and Friday were the first 2 days of school for the girl. She was in Pre-K, a regular ed classroom with 20 kids. So it was chaotic, of course, the first 2 days always are with kids crying for mom, teachers trying to reassure parents, get enrollment forms filled out, supplies put away, restore order continually, get the routines and rules established and oh yeah...teach. Plus make sure every child feels loved, accepted, safe and having a good time. Easy as pie.....
Chaos is not L's best friend. She does not love the crazy schedule, as most parents with a child with PDD-NOS know. But she held in there really well-there were a few times that she had to go off by herself to stay calm, but for the most part, she was with the group participating every step of the way. I was impressed, especially since I witnessed it firsthand and know it to be the truth and not an empty reassurance by a sympathetic teacher-friend.
She doesn't really care to play with other kids on the recess or center time. She doesn't mind if they play beside her, but she won't initiate interaction with them-or answer them if they talk. She will run beside them and play chasing games, just no conversation. So I'm curious to see if that will improve as she gets more comfortable in this new situation.
Pre-K did get the highest level of commendation last night though. She told me at bedtime that she loved that classroom the best because the door is yellow, like Spongebob. Then she muttered, "I wish I could draw Spongebob's nose-his nose goes up and it's hard to do. Patrick doesn't have a nose. Squidward has a nose, his nose goes down like this. I can make a good Squidward nose." And then she was off into her own little imaginative world and ready to be left alone, so I left her to it. She'd earned some downtime with Bikini Bottom's finest in her dreamland....
Here's hoping it keeps getting better! *fingers still crossed*
Chaos is not L's best friend. She does not love the crazy schedule, as most parents with a child with PDD-NOS know. But she held in there really well-there were a few times that she had to go off by herself to stay calm, but for the most part, she was with the group participating every step of the way. I was impressed, especially since I witnessed it firsthand and know it to be the truth and not an empty reassurance by a sympathetic teacher-friend.
She doesn't really care to play with other kids on the recess or center time. She doesn't mind if they play beside her, but she won't initiate interaction with them-or answer them if they talk. She will run beside them and play chasing games, just no conversation. So I'm curious to see if that will improve as she gets more comfortable in this new situation.
Pre-K did get the highest level of commendation last night though. She told me at bedtime that she loved that classroom the best because the door is yellow, like Spongebob. Then she muttered, "I wish I could draw Spongebob's nose-his nose goes up and it's hard to do. Patrick doesn't have a nose. Squidward has a nose, his nose goes down like this. I can make a good Squidward nose." And then she was off into her own little imaginative world and ready to be left alone, so I left her to it. She'd earned some downtime with Bikini Bottom's finest in her dreamland....
Here's hoping it keeps getting better! *fingers still crossed*
Monday, August 3, 2009
Count your blessings....
As I sit here at 7:15 AM, drinking my coffee and trying to regain consciousness, I am listening to my kids. The TV is on Dora the Explorer and they are playing on the living room carpet. They've been playing nicely together with no fighting for about 25 minutes (yes they have been up since 6:45 AM), some big imagination game with shooting and soldiers (my 8 year old son) that hug and tell each other, "Be careful honey. I love you." as they are leaving for war (my 5 year old girl). If that doesn't make your heart happy, I don't know what will.
I am so blessed. Nothing can possibly be more of a salve to my heart than loving those two.
Thank you, Lord for your bounty. Even at this early hour!!
I am so blessed. Nothing can possibly be more of a salve to my heart than loving those two.
Thank you, Lord for your bounty. Even at this early hour!!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Wow....Have I really been gone that long?
While scrolling through my favorites saved on the computer today, I realized, "oh yeah....I have a blog!" Completely forgot about it over the summer months..... Oopsie pooh!
We have had a wonderful summer. Lots of vacations, ball games, trips, swimming, cook-outs. All the things that make summertime fun.
We opted out of little leage for the little girl this summer. The boy however, loved his summer ball-he even went on a trip to the big city and watched a professional ballgame with dad. As luck would have it, even got to participate in a 7 inning stretch sideline game and won a shirt and a ball. Got the mascot to sign his ball cap~all in all, a perfect day for him.
Girl starts school, Pre-K, at the school I work in next month. I am excited for her as she will be in a regular ed. classroom, but a little apprehensive. I wish she could go to a school that had a little more to offer her in assistance if it is needed. I am frustrated because I know the educators are doing their best, but their resources are limited financially and they are overloaded. It's absolutely ridiculous how overloaded the teachers can be. No one could physically do all that is expected of them.
I am also apprehensive because I want it for myself. I want her to be able to stay in the regular classroom. I want her to be able to make it without extra help. And I know it's selfish, but I am not ready to give up that dream yet; the dream of her being normal. Why can't I let that go? I don't know why. But I know until I witness it for myself that she absolutely can not cope in a regular classroom, I will not be ready to admit that she is "special needs".
Denial?~yes~ The experts say that parents of children that have "issues" grieve the loss of that perfect child in stages, very much the same as the family grieves when someone passes on. I keep cycling from shock, denial, anger, guilt, shock, denial, anger, guilt.....and I can't stay with acceptance for very long at all. I can't accept it until I know for sure that is the only way it can be, absolutely without a doubt. And even then I don't know if acceptance will ever happen for me, because for me acceptance equals giving up.
With the boy, I worked at the school then too. I was just curious to see how he would get along with his peers and teachers because he is so high energy. He did fine, after a few bumps in the road and trips to visit the principal. He's going to be fine~in fact, I feel he will excel in school and sports.
The haaaarrrdddd part with the girl is, she looks normal. 70% of the time, she acts like any other 5 year old girl~the other 30% of the time though.....that's when I think I am going to lose my sanity. When she gets overstimulated and things get to be too much~she bounces, hits, screams, jumps, cries, faster and more franctically until someone intervenes and helps her. She can't calm herself yet if she gets too far out there. Watching her when she gets like that feels like someone is reaching in my chest and punching me in the heart. Very few of my friends or co-workers have seen her in full 3-D action; I'm curious to see their reaction also. I wonder if they will still think she is normal if and when she explodes at school.
Soooo, long story long; I am ready for school to start so we can just find out what it's going to be like. The suspense is killing me already.... Geez!
We have had a wonderful summer. Lots of vacations, ball games, trips, swimming, cook-outs. All the things that make summertime fun.
We opted out of little leage for the little girl this summer. The boy however, loved his summer ball-he even went on a trip to the big city and watched a professional ballgame with dad. As luck would have it, even got to participate in a 7 inning stretch sideline game and won a shirt and a ball. Got the mascot to sign his ball cap~all in all, a perfect day for him.
Girl starts school, Pre-K, at the school I work in next month. I am excited for her as she will be in a regular ed. classroom, but a little apprehensive. I wish she could go to a school that had a little more to offer her in assistance if it is needed. I am frustrated because I know the educators are doing their best, but their resources are limited financially and they are overloaded. It's absolutely ridiculous how overloaded the teachers can be. No one could physically do all that is expected of them.
I am also apprehensive because I want it for myself. I want her to be able to stay in the regular classroom. I want her to be able to make it without extra help. And I know it's selfish, but I am not ready to give up that dream yet; the dream of her being normal. Why can't I let that go? I don't know why. But I know until I witness it for myself that she absolutely can not cope in a regular classroom, I will not be ready to admit that she is "special needs".
Denial?~yes~ The experts say that parents of children that have "issues" grieve the loss of that perfect child in stages, very much the same as the family grieves when someone passes on. I keep cycling from shock, denial, anger, guilt, shock, denial, anger, guilt.....and I can't stay with acceptance for very long at all. I can't accept it until I know for sure that is the only way it can be, absolutely without a doubt. And even then I don't know if acceptance will ever happen for me, because for me acceptance equals giving up.
With the boy, I worked at the school then too. I was just curious to see how he would get along with his peers and teachers because he is so high energy. He did fine, after a few bumps in the road and trips to visit the principal. He's going to be fine~in fact, I feel he will excel in school and sports.
The haaaarrrdddd part with the girl is, she looks normal. 70% of the time, she acts like any other 5 year old girl~the other 30% of the time though.....that's when I think I am going to lose my sanity. When she gets overstimulated and things get to be too much~she bounces, hits, screams, jumps, cries, faster and more franctically until someone intervenes and helps her. She can't calm herself yet if she gets too far out there. Watching her when she gets like that feels like someone is reaching in my chest and punching me in the heart. Very few of my friends or co-workers have seen her in full 3-D action; I'm curious to see their reaction also. I wonder if they will still think she is normal if and when she explodes at school.
Soooo, long story long; I am ready for school to start so we can just find out what it's going to be like. The suspense is killing me already.... Geez!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Who wants whine with dinner?
Ahhh. A lovely, lazy spring break week.
My parents kept the kids for me for a couple of nights so I could get some of the deep spring cleaning done AND have a bit of relaxation time for me. I got alot accomplished-mostly the cleaning, organizing and chunking out of toys that seem to multiply like rabbits in my boy's bedroom. I didn't mess much with L's bedroom, because she gets so upset by change. I did switch out her toybox for a new one that was bigger, but that was it.
Then today my parents came to my house and brought the kids back. And we all hopped in their car to go for a nature hike and see some wildlife at a local refuge. It was really fun; we fed prarie dogs, ducks, fish and watched buffalo and longhorn cattle. And enjoyed the beautiful sunny spring day.
I was so happy to get the kids back-I've missed them so over the past two days. And the boy was glad to be home; his Wii and dog were missing him pretty badly also. And I thought L was happy to see me, but she started crying in the car that she wanted to go back to Grandma and Grandpa's house and told me several times, "I don't want to stay here with you anymore." "I don't like you much." Granted I know it's just that she has a problem with changes.... but still. Part of you takes that kind of personally; like the rejection it sounds like. And another part of you worries that the "mother bonds" are not as strong as you thought-maybe she really doesn't care at all who takes care of her as long as she is getting what she wants from her caregiver. And that kind of is the case, to a point.
But I had an ace up my sleeve. I reminded L I had put out new soap in the bathroom (purple this time) and offered to let her play with it after Grandma and Grandpa left (what's a little bribery now and then, I ask you?) Then all she could say was, "Mommy, you put new soap out just for me? Thank you Mommy, my little buddy!" So while still grumpy and whiny, I have momentarily reclaimed most favored status. I'll quit whining eventually.
My parents kept the kids for me for a couple of nights so I could get some of the deep spring cleaning done AND have a bit of relaxation time for me. I got alot accomplished-mostly the cleaning, organizing and chunking out of toys that seem to multiply like rabbits in my boy's bedroom. I didn't mess much with L's bedroom, because she gets so upset by change. I did switch out her toybox for a new one that was bigger, but that was it.
Then today my parents came to my house and brought the kids back. And we all hopped in their car to go for a nature hike and see some wildlife at a local refuge. It was really fun; we fed prarie dogs, ducks, fish and watched buffalo and longhorn cattle. And enjoyed the beautiful sunny spring day.
I was so happy to get the kids back-I've missed them so over the past two days. And the boy was glad to be home; his Wii and dog were missing him pretty badly also. And I thought L was happy to see me, but she started crying in the car that she wanted to go back to Grandma and Grandpa's house and told me several times, "I don't want to stay here with you anymore." "I don't like you much." Granted I know it's just that she has a problem with changes.... but still. Part of you takes that kind of personally; like the rejection it sounds like. And another part of you worries that the "mother bonds" are not as strong as you thought-maybe she really doesn't care at all who takes care of her as long as she is getting what she wants from her caregiver. And that kind of is the case, to a point.
But I had an ace up my sleeve. I reminded L I had put out new soap in the bathroom (purple this time) and offered to let her play with it after Grandma and Grandpa left (what's a little bribery now and then, I ask you?) Then all she could say was, "Mommy, you put new soap out just for me? Thank you Mommy, my little buddy!" So while still grumpy and whiny, I have momentarily reclaimed most favored status. I'll quit whining eventually.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Wow, that's good news!
We had some really good news this past week at our daughter's school. When L's OT showed up there to do her therapy, massages and joint compressions, a substitute teacher (who has been there about 2 weeks) remarked to the OT, "Well, what exactly is the reason you see L?" To which the OT replied, "She has an autism spectrum disorder, PDD-NOS." The sub was really surprised and said, "But she's the smartest and best behaved kiddo here!"
Those kind of moments help balance out the not-so-great times pretty nicely. I had a warm fuzzy feeling for the rest of the day. I am absolutely amazed at how much it has helped just working around her sensory issues and doing some things to help keep her calm. The joint compressions, deep pressure massage, weighted blankets, heavy work and even epsom salt baths (they actually do work, I was surprised). Above all, keep that schedule.
She has her moments though. Like when she chunked the tester's toy at her head because she didn't want to participate. Or kicked her friend in the shin as way of a greeting (hello-WHACK!!) And I won't even discuss the indignities our poor cat, Luna-Tuna, suffers on a daily basis.
She's made enough progress lately that we are debating letting her play little league tee-ball this summer on the young team. Still not for sure on that one though. It's a little scary, just in case she gets mad and decides to bean someone unexpectedly. Which is definitely a possibility...
Yeah, maybe give her one more year before tee ball. Little League's overrated anyways.....
Those kind of moments help balance out the not-so-great times pretty nicely. I had a warm fuzzy feeling for the rest of the day. I am absolutely amazed at how much it has helped just working around her sensory issues and doing some things to help keep her calm. The joint compressions, deep pressure massage, weighted blankets, heavy work and even epsom salt baths (they actually do work, I was surprised). Above all, keep that schedule.
She has her moments though. Like when she chunked the tester's toy at her head because she didn't want to participate. Or kicked her friend in the shin as way of a greeting (hello-WHACK!!) And I won't even discuss the indignities our poor cat, Luna-Tuna, suffers on a daily basis.
She's made enough progress lately that we are debating letting her play little league tee-ball this summer on the young team. Still not for sure on that one though. It's a little scary, just in case she gets mad and decides to bean someone unexpectedly. Which is definitely a possibility...
Yeah, maybe give her one more year before tee ball. Little League's overrated anyways.....
Monday, February 23, 2009
We are warrior mothers
WARRIOR MOTHERS
I like that term. I came across the description "warrior mothers" today and actually stopped to read the article (I wish I was cool like that and could link it here-I would if I could). Warrior mothers are moms that are out there, fighting like mad for their own kids and other children that have issues-be it autism, cerebral palsy, cancer, seizure disorder-doing anything and everything in their power to advocate for change and improvement. And doing all they can to make their child's life as normal as possible, as happy as possible. I mean really, that's what any parent wants for their child right?~to be happy in life? So what if they are not a CEO or a carpenter or a short order cook. Can I, as the parent, help them be happy and productive on some level during their lifetime? And if helping them acheive their best means being "that mom" at IEP meetings, parent/teacher conferences, doctor's appointments, therapies, (and the list goes on and on forever) then that is absolutely what I will do. And do not stand in my way, because I am on a mission.
And by the way, the term is warrior mother, but I happen to know a warrior father personally. He's done it all-a field trip to the dentist with a group of 16 3 year-olds with our daughter and coaching a tee ball team with our son. He's watched Mary Poppins with our girl, repeatedly in the same day, because that is her favorite movie at the moment (that alone deserves some credit). He was right beside me for an entire week this summer, his only week of vacation, for a parent's autism symposium-he was completely committed to making it a fun trip for us and it was fun and informative. He's a rare breed-a true warrior when it comes to his family.
I like that term. I came across the description "warrior mothers" today and actually stopped to read the article (I wish I was cool like that and could link it here-I would if I could). Warrior mothers are moms that are out there, fighting like mad for their own kids and other children that have issues-be it autism, cerebral palsy, cancer, seizure disorder-doing anything and everything in their power to advocate for change and improvement. And doing all they can to make their child's life as normal as possible, as happy as possible. I mean really, that's what any parent wants for their child right?~to be happy in life? So what if they are not a CEO or a carpenter or a short order cook. Can I, as the parent, help them be happy and productive on some level during their lifetime? And if helping them acheive their best means being "that mom" at IEP meetings, parent/teacher conferences, doctor's appointments, therapies, (and the list goes on and on forever) then that is absolutely what I will do. And do not stand in my way, because I am on a mission.
And by the way, the term is warrior mother, but I happen to know a warrior father personally. He's done it all-a field trip to the dentist with a group of 16 3 year-olds with our daughter and coaching a tee ball team with our son. He's watched Mary Poppins with our girl, repeatedly in the same day, because that is her favorite movie at the moment (that alone deserves some credit). He was right beside me for an entire week this summer, his only week of vacation, for a parent's autism symposium-he was completely committed to making it a fun trip for us and it was fun and informative. He's a rare breed-a true warrior when it comes to his family.
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